The cold war with OCD

It definitely has been a cold hard war with OCD, a war that fails to end until I call it quits.  Mind you, OCD is never utterly bad, looking at it with the glass half full it can almost be a blessing in disguise. That’s if you can control it, and make it work for you, without it turning your mind inside out. For me there has been no resistance from OCD, until now, because i’ve learnt to outsmart it. See the power of OCD is so freaken strong that it causes our mind to go into overdrive.  We overthink, overlook and fail to focus on how to end a task successfully.

I figure that OCD IS IN FACT perfectionism. Really, think about it. So, here’s the deal…PERFECTIONISM = You never do things good enough. So your’e mind figures, “okay do it again, right this time.”

This clicked for me in my recent OCD case. I’ve recently been motivated to become a minimalist when it comes to my wardrobe, ironically to pull out from my last OCD behaviour of shopping addiction. It’s almost as if the OCD behaviour jumps as you jump.  Anyway, I have been downsizing my wardrobe BIG TIME, which is fantastic, until it became overwhelming, stressful, mind numbing and confusing. For me the issues were… 1. TOO many clothes (half of which I never wear) and 2. clothes that are too immature for me and ressemble a 15 year old.

Now I had great reason to carry out this downsize, it’s completely legit. It was a genius idea in my mind, and perfectly suited my wants and needs. I ended up with shitloads more space, and a closet that I am gradually becoming more in love with each day. So what’s the problem? Nothing, now that I have stopped the OCD dead in its tracks. Everything is as sweet as sugar because I can go into my closet and know I have items in it that I absolutely love and now I don’t spend hours on end finding the ‘perfect outfit.’

It sounds ridiculous, but the journey for this was overwhelming as hell. It was like, wake up in the morning and think about what I need to get rid of, come home from work and do the same process over again because it didn’t feel complete. This went on for weeks, and I felt compelled to continue this process.  So… how did I stop? Well I told myself in my head that I did a damn good job, and that’s enough. What an answer, don’t you think?! Yes, its hilarious how simply I needed to put it to reassure myself, but at the time I didn’t see the sense in that.

Because I’m a damn perfectionist! The whole world could applaud me, but it’s not okay until I say so. So that’s where I need a bucket of cold water on my head, to give myself a reality check that ACTUALLY that’s enough now.

So yes, at the end of the day it’s a blessing in disguise if you choose it to be. You do things thoroughly and effectively- but only if you have a plan and you know your limits and when its time to call it quits.


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